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1. |
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Dust covers the old clock
Holes in the staircase that leads to nowhere
The structural integrity of this place is questionable
I find it quite agreeable
Cobwebs, broken windows
Never ceasing Autumn draft
Crackling fire on the hearth
Floorboards gone reveal the Earth
My friends are creatures of the night
Spirits, ghosts, and ghouls and such
A strange place to dwell, I know
This haunted house is still my home
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2. |
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I am more than perception
I am the undertow beneath the waves
The unseen reality
Shatter or embrace the mirror
It is not my definition
The energy that drives my being
To be is to live
A heart beats not but for the living of its cells
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3. |
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Unknown, unreciprocated affection
A sting I've never felt before
Vulnerable and foolish
My mind, I no longer know
Unspoken and misunderstood
I long to comprehend myself
Why do I love you?
Why can I not stop?
Brought to my knees, admit defeat
Should I forsake these feelings?
If only I could walk away
If only I could tell you
I cannot explain this fever
My heart is panting in its shame
I wish I could erase this longing
But life is not that simple, my dear
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4. |
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Spring will come
Yes, the frost will melt
A flower will burst forth from the cold
In brilliant hues of hope
Winter's grip will losen
Hold fast to the earth, you tiny seed
Let your roots run deep
Grow as the summer sun rises
Just a fathom farther
Spring will come
Do not fret, you buried by snow
Warmth will come for you
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5. |
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Writing letters
Make me numb
Cut the skin again
Tolerance?
Paper seals the wounds
A citrus taste in my mouth
Fly away, you paper birds
Squirm and writhe
Write another letter
Fly away again
Cutting trees
Remove the forest
No shelter
Feed my destruction
Paper birds, please fly away
That I may send more on their way
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6. |
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Rise, oh Sun, you in the sky!
Spread forth the clouds upon which I run
As vast fields of hopes and dreams
Softly whisper peace
Only azure skies above
Ivory sun luminous
Lethe, the stream I take in slow
Mind anew and shed of care
Kamikaze 'cross the plains
My wings are young again
Nevermore will I tire
Earth and stone are distant
There is hope of freedom
Just behind yonder mountain
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7. |
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I could die in this spot
Laying in my own squalor
Staring into a pool of sound
Anemic and straddling reality and dreams
No one can hear me scream here
Nothing is in the right place
The everything melts
If only you could understand me
A loser in this language game
As your world is a foreign language to myself
To myself
Your lips are moving, but you are saying nothing
All of you are nothing
All of you are nothing
All of you are nothing
All of us are only failing energy
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8. |
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This distorted and cruel picture
Highlighted with moments of celestial harmony
An age of my existence
With our reconciliation, the final stroke
Nothing more to say of those hours
Winter has come to pass
It is finished
Before me, a fresh canvas
I smell the open field before me
Awaken to spring upon my skin
I take a new step
All behind me
All as it is
All before me
It is well with my soul
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9. |
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Slit fingertips
Curled hands and bruised arms
The paper birds never returned
Now, I may recover
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10. |
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i know! it doesn't matter that much
you just need a body to touch
so sorry i forgot.
i don't know what i thought.
everything sounds better in my head
and i feel best when most mislead
what a fucking joke.
one i won't let go
i won't let go.
guess i should have seen this one coming.
fuck this. i'm done
trying to stay awake.
nothing's indispensable,
least of all me-
burnt out snowflake
faggot freak.
please, talk down to me
i need it.
remember
me
the
way
i
look
when
i
vomit.
party like it's still 2012.
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11. |
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i'll snuff out the fucking sun.
trees recede into the ground
as the ocean drinks itself.
system reset. finally i rest.
soon, you will come to me
as you have in my dreams:
naked save for a crown of nightshade,
flowers dying in your wake.
i thought everything was okay.
but why not just let it all fall apart.
it's never your turn to wait, and i know
i'm no work of art.
are you fucking listening to me?
i can see right through you.
there's no need to explain.
no one knows better than i do.
i guess that's just what i get.
i'll never forget what it felt like.
i'll never forget what i saw.
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12. |
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13. |
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everything comes in a fucking can!
and i guess there isn't much
you can't fetishize and rape.
horribly rape.
good thing you don't give a shit.
straight to your crutch.
bet you didn't have to think
much about that one.
maybe you'll get it next time.
almost there.
already outdated
overhyped and overrated
dead before it left the womb.
how do you do it?
jesus fucking christ
i'm just over it.
whatever you were trying to do
you fucked up bad
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14. |
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black seeds take root in the soured ground.
i'm burning the candle at both ends
but nothing can keep me warm.
take your damn time.
something beautiful is dying
but it's okay. i didn't expect you
to notice or care, anyway.
so thanks for all the bright lights.
now i can see
to count out my curses
as i rot in my juices.
i'm still learning how
to keep my hopes down
i'm still learning how
to throw my heart on the fucking ground
i'm still learning how
to keep my hopes down
i'm still learning that
to live is to suffer.
it's now or never.
choose your weapon,
or hide your face.
yeah, you hide your face.
so what the fuck ever.
you still come to me in my dreams,
it's okay, i didn't expect my sickness to
just waver and fade, anyway
amputate dead weight.
some things always change
but your name still haunts me,
like a phantom limb.
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released February 22, 2015
